Sex is more than just physical exercise. It has an emotional and spiritual component. Tantric sex is all about exploring the multidimensionality of sex, whether it’s solo (masturbation), with a partner, or even multiple partners. Rather than focusing on the final release, tantric sex is all about slowing down, enjoying the build-up to the main event, and taking your time with the journey.
What is Tantric Sex?
Tantric sex is a slow and leisurely form of sex that aims to enhance intimacy, create a stronger mind-body connection, and produce deeper orgasms. It helps you tune into your body’s deepest frequencies and desires while also being cognizant of your partner’s desires. Tantric sex is based on an ancient Hindu practice that dates back over 5,000 years. If you want to re-energize your sex life or find new hidden depths in your sexual experience, you can give it a shot.
Why Should You Practice Tantric Sex?
According to tantric experts, people can enjoy stronger and higher forms of ecstasy and orgasm if they devote more time, effort, and consciousness to sex.
The co-founder of The School of Healthy Pleasure, Dominnique Karetsos, says, “When it comes to sex, we often view it in an isolated sector of our lives, away from our physical and mental health when in reality, everything about our wellbeing, including our pleasure, is interconnected. When we become more aware of ourselves, we are better able to live within our experiences, and this is true for sex.”
Tantric sex helps you gain a better awareness of your body and desires while connecting with your partner(s) in deeper ways. Rushing through sex can make you lose sight of your body’s desires and truest pleasures, making you avoid questioning if you’re truly enjoying the experience. However, engaging with your body and your partner in a present, conscious, emotional, and physical manner helps you tap into deeper sexual experiences.
Tips for Broaching the Subject With Your Partner…
- Approach the subject gently. Discuss everything you already love about your sex life and tell them that you’d like to enhance the experience.
- Focus on positive experiences. Instead of delving into what you dislike about your sex life, focus on what’s already good and how tantric sex can bring you closer.
- Be conscious of your partner’s mindset. If your partner is skeptical of spirituality, discuss the physical components of the exercise, exploring it more as a new technique to enjoy sex.
- Respect your partner’s decision. Your partner may be enthusiastic about tantric sex, or they may be firmly against it or somewhere in between — respect their choice.
Tips to Prepare Your Mind…
- Start with meditation. Since tantric sex is about aligning your mind and body, it helps if you spend 10 to 15 minutes in quiet meditation. This allows you to explore your thoughts and prepare for the upcoming experience.
- Focus on your breath. While meditating, focus on your breathing, taking slow and steady breaths into your belly and lower back. This slows down your heart and sets the pace for tantric sex.
- Stretch and shake your limbs. Stretch out and shake your limbs to minimize tightness and firmness in different parts of your body.
- Journal your thoughts. Tantric sex can only be enjoyed in all its dimensions if your thoughts aren’t clouded. To liberate your mind and connect with your true self, you should journal your thoughts and gain better self-awareness. This allows you to better communicate your desires.
Tips to Prepare Your Space…
- Set the ideal temperature. Tantric sex is a holistic sexual experience that can only be enjoyed if you’re completely present with your and your partner’s minds. However, you can only do that if your environment is comfortable. Set the ideal temperature — not overly hot or chilly.
- Set the mood. Colors can tap into and unleash your inner desires. Dim the lights and use scented candles to set the mood. You can also use soft red bulbs to enhance the romantic ambiance.
- Set the aroma. Choose a scent that makes you feel sexy, warm, and comfortable. Light a scented candle or incense stick with that scent. You can also hang flowers or burn essential oils.
- Set the music. If you prefer the quiet, don’t play any music. But if you enjoy music, select something that both you and your partner can enjoy together. The music should be soft and gentle, just enough to guide your movements without distracting you.
Tantric Sex When You’re Solo…
- Start by meditating and breathing consciously to prepare yourself.
- Use your favorite oils and lotions to massage your entire body, including the belly, groins, thighs, arms, chest, and more.
- Explore your genitals gently and slowly, taking the time to feel and register each stroke and sensation. You can even use a clit sucker like Obii to help you feel new sensations.
- Breathe deeply and slowly throughout the session. If your heart pace starts rising, breathe consciously to slow down your heart rate and continue the session.
- If you find your mind wandering, bring it back to specific sensations on your body, such as the tingling of your fingers on your skin.
- Remember that orgasm is great, but it’s not necessary for a fulfilling experience. Liberate yourself from the pressure to orgasm and simply enjoy the journey.
Tantric Sex With a Partner…
- Sit opposite from each other. You can also sit on your partner’s lap to bridge the distance.
- Gaze into each other’s eyes for as long as possible without breaking eye contact.
- Rest your palm on your partner’s chest and ask them to do the same. Try matching each other’s breathing and heartbeats until you’re synchronized.
- Maintain skin-on-skin contact to ensure complete intimacy at all points.
- Take turns to massage each other’s bodies, including the arms, belly, groins, thighs, and others.
- Explore each other’s erogenous zones, i.e., the parts of the body that are extremely sensitive to touch.
- You can gradually build up to sex — oral, vaginal, anal, or sex however you define it. However, sex isn’t necessary — you can also continue the foreplay as long as you want.
- Try new positions and techniques while touching each other. This will allow you to explore new sensations you may not be aware of.
- Snuggle close together with your hearts and stomachs close together, arms wrapped around each other. This will allow you to harmonize your breath and feel more intimate.
Tantric sex takes practice, time, and patience. When you try it for the first time, you might find that your mind wanders restlessly or that you orgasm too soon. Have patience and try again and again until you believe you’ve completely tapped into your and your partner’s energies.