Casual sex is an incredibly fun, natural, and healthy means of exploring your sexual desires. As long as you’re always honest with yourself and your partners, casual sex allows you to understand yourself better, release stress, improve your sexual techniques, and just have fun. However, to enjoy casual sex (and ensure your partners also enjoy the experience), you need to have the right mindset.
The term “casual sex” indicates sex without strings attached, i.e., no commitments, relationships, or marriage. You can have sex and then part ways. After your first encounter, you can either meet again for repeated sexual encounters, or you can never meet again. While there are no commitments to casual sex, there are some simple rules and guidelines you should follow.
Below, we provide a comprehensive guide to casual sex.
Be kind and compassionate to your partners
You must be kind and compassionate to your partners. Some people think they can be jerks to their partners because they’ll never meet again. But that’s the surest way to ensure a terrible sexual encounter for both parties involved — yourself and your partner. Even you never see that person again, please ensure they feel comfortable in your presence and that they look back on the experience fondly.
Don’t punish yourself for being “superficial”
One of the best aspects of casual sex is that you don’t have to worry about mutual interests, personality compatibility, career aspirations, and other factors. All humans are innately drawn to “superficial” qualities, such as appearance, age, body types, voice, or scent. You can’t base long-term relationships on these external factors, but casual sex is the perfect time to indulge your superficial desires.
Be honest about your intentions… always
Casual sex isn’t an invitation for dishonesty. Your sexual partner must have the means to assess whether they truly want to have sex with you based on the information offered. If you’re just looking for sex, you must be completely honest about your intentions. Please don’t deceive people into thinking you’re looking for something more. Similarly, don’t offer fake numbers or ask for numbers you don’t intend on calling — be honest.
Extend the courtesy you would give any guest
If you’re hosting someone at your place, you should always treat them with the courtesy you would offer any other guest. You don’t need to cook them an elaborate meal, but offer them a glass of water or drink, if that’s what they prefer. And please don’t kick them to the curb late at night; let them sleepover, and perhaps give them a cup of coffee in the morning.
State your cuddling and kissing preferences openly
Cuddling and kissing are two sexual acts that divide those engaging in casual sex. Some people believe cuddling and kissing are completely out of the question because they indicate emotional intimacy. Others enjoy casual intimacy and see the two acts as inextricable components of a healthy sexual exercise. Resolving this conflict is simple — communicate your preferences.
Practice safe sex… always
You must always practice safe sex if you engage in casual sex for your and your partner’s sake. If one of the individuals involved in the sexual encounter is male, you must use a condom. You should also have an honest discussion about safe sex expectations, such as when you’ve been tested last and whether you use protection regularly.
Inform your friends of your location
Casual sex with strangers always includes a small risk. You don’t know the person you’re meeting, especially if you’re meeting them at their place. That’s why you must inform your friends of your location and maybe drop a pin to the location. Your sexual partner shouldn’t object to you sharing the location with your friends — it’s completely reasonable.
Exercise your freedom to try new things
The best part about hooking up with strangers is that you can be anyone at all. Your sexual partner has no idea what you’re usually like or your preferences in bed. You can reinvent yourself, try new things, and explore different personalities. Have you always wanted to try a new position or kink? Provided your partner consents, give it a shot!
Don’t be afraid of foreplay
People often believe casual sex should only include the penetrative sexual act and nothing else. But foreplay is often an essential part of the sexual experience, heightening the eventual release. As such, don’t be afraid to engage in some foreplay and delay sex unless your partner shows no interest in foreplay.
Learn to understand body language
People in long-term relationships can naturally hone into each other’s energies and unsaid body language. But when it comes to casual sex, you may have a harder time understanding exactly what your partner wants. You should check in verbally whenever possible, but you should also focus on their body language to determine what they want or don’t want.
Seek enthusiastic consent… this is non-negotiable
Body language is a great means of anticipating your partner’s desires without verbal communication. But it’s not fool-proof — people interpret different signs differently. And some people aren’t as capable of interpreting subtle body signs as others. That’s why you must seek enthusiastic verbal consent from your sexual partner. You must also seek consent for every sexual act and move, and remember that consent can be withdrawn at any point.
Be open to changing dynamics
Casual sex is supposed to be no-strings-attached, but humans are messy, and things can get complicated. In some cases, casual sex is just that — casual. But in other cases, one or both partners may develop feelings. You should be open to changing dynamics. If you find yourself wanting more, express those desires to your partner, and accept whatever their response might be — whether your feelings are reciprocated or not.