The Nest

Pleasure and Long-Distance Relationships

Long-distance relationships can be incredibly difficult — that’s commonly understood. Aside from the inability to see each other, one of the biggest challenges of a long-distance relationship is the lack of regular sexual intimacy. Sex might not be the most important part of a relationship, but it’s incredibly important nonetheless. But just because you can’t be physically connected doesn’t mean you have to abandon your sexuality or reserve sexual pleasure for those rare moments when you’re together.

When you’re in a long-distance relationship, you should definitely focus on a lot of virtual bonding activities to remain connected. But sexual chemistry is even more important than you may have previously realized. If you don’t actively work towards remaining sexually connected, you might also find that your romantic interest wanes (this isn’t a hard-and-fast rule, of course.) The solution to this problem is remaining connected and creative.

Physical intimacy with your partner is definitely important, but you can also maintain sexual intimacy if you’re over 2,000 miles apart. Below, we provide some creative tips and strategies to remain sexually active and intimate with your partner. You might not like all of these tips, and some of them might be out of your comfort zone, but that’s completely okay. This article should simply spark your sexual creativity — you can make these tips your own.

Let’s start with the basics of long-distance sexual pleasure… sexting is hot, when done right

When talking about maintaining intimacy in long-term relationships, we have to talk about the value of sexting. Most people think sexting is tedious, but sexting is really only as boring as you make it. When youre sexting with your partner, the goal is to get creative, unleash your inner sexy, kinky self, and let your imagination run wild. You can sext throughout the day, send nudes to your partner in inopportune moments, and send flirty messages.

When sexting, you must remember creativity is key. Most people find sexting boring because they dont put effort into communicating their real sexual identities. You need to unleash your fantasies and let them soar. Do you have a special kink for feet, golden showers, or bondage? Dream up and text your fantasy scenarios! Let your minds keep you sexually intimate, even if your bodies are oceans apart.

Its also important to highlight that your attempts at sexting dont have to align with your sexual interests in person. Perhaps you like the fantasy of bondage but dont want to execute it in real life. Thats okay! Sexting allows you to indulge your wildest fantasies even if you dont follow through on your dream scenarios. Later, when youre together, you can either fulfill those fantasies in person or inform your partner you want to keep them as fantasies.

While sexting, you can also incorporate emojis and innuendoes to spruce up your texts. Sometimes, insinuations are better than explicit statements. Instead of telling your partner what youd like to do with them, drop some subtle hints to keep them guessing. Sometimes, the thrill of guessing and anticipating makes things way sexier. The point is to remain exciting and creative — think of sexting as writing erotic fiction, and then go for it!

Trade dirty pictures with your partner… respectfully 

If you want to take your long-distance sexual intimacy to the next level, you can also trade dirty pictures with your partner. Instead of sending basic shots of your disembodied genitals, try putting some work into your photographs. Take pictures from different angles, in different places, and wearing different costumes or clothes. Keep things fresh, so when your partner opens up their messages, they’re pleasantly surprised every time!

While sending dirty pictures is hot, sending unsolicited pictures is not! You need to have a frank discussion with your partner about what kind of pictures they’re willing to receive or send. You should never push their boundaries or send pictures if they don’t want them. Similarly, it’s never okay to pressurize your partner to send dirty pictures in the name of intimacy. Forced consent is not consent — that’s not okay!

If you or your partner are concerned about the possibility of nude leaks (a sad reality in our world), you can also use platforms like Snapchat or Instagram. Platforms like Instagram and Snapchat allow you to send time-sensitive pictures that are automatically deleted once the recipient views them or after a specific period. You can use these platforms to trade dirty pictures without the risk of them leaking out.

Mutual masturbation via video calls 

We firmly believe that virtual sex is also sex. Even if you can’t be with each other, you can masturbate together to engage in virtual sex. The best way to mutually masturbate is while talking over the phone or seeing each other on Skype, FaceTime, or other such platforms. You can video call each other, do a little striptease for each other, and masturbate together. To make things even more exciting, you can include dirty talking and share your kinks.

Control each other’s orgasms with sex toys

Some remote-controlled sex toys can be controlled from long distances. You and your partner can share an app-controlled sex toy that the other can control. Lets say you use a remote-controlled clitoral vibrator. Your partner can trigger the sex toy, increase the vibrations, and play around with the settings to control your orgasm. You can do the same for your partner. Its not the same as physical intimacy, but its an excellent means of retaining sexual pleasure when youre not together.

These are just some of the ways you can maintain sexual pleasure even when you’re not physically together. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, you’ll have to get creative and work hard to keep the sexual spark alive, but it’s definitely possible.

About Author
Ellie Cooper
Ellie is a freelance writer and pleasure enthusiast. She is very comfortable talking about vaginas, scaling mountains and eating spicy food, but not parallel parking. She lives with a very tubby cat named Charles who likes to get involved with the writing process by sleeping on her keyboard.
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