Your husband just gifted you a sex toy, and you’re now wondering: what does it mean? Does it mean he doesn’t want to have sex with me anymore? Is he not happy with our sex life? Can I ask him what it means?
You may have several questions and concerns swirling around your head. The most important thing in any relationship is to communicate actively. If you’re uncertain about your husband’s gesture, the solution is simple: ask him what it means. There’s no point in stewing in negative assumptions when the answer could be fairly simple and positive. This article highlights a few possible reasons your husband may have gifted you a sex toy.
It could mean he cares about your independent sexual fulfillment, even when he’s not around.
Sex toys are devices/tools used for sexual satisfaction. It’s wrongly assumed that once you’re in a relationship, you lose all rights or the ability to pleasure yourself without your partner. You’re an independent sexual being, even if you’re in a loving, committed, and sexually active relationship. Masturbating and pleasuring yourself can improve your individual sense of self, confidence, and sexual well-being. Masturbating doesn’t mean you’re not interested in sex with your partner anymore — it simply means you’re an individual with your personal desires.
If your husband has gifted you a sex toy, perhaps he cares about your independent sexual fulfillment. And that’s a good thing! Perhaps he understands that you’re an autonomous sexual person with desires that may also exist outside your dynamic with each other. By gifting you a sex toy, perhaps he’s saying that he wants you to feel empowered to enjoy your body with or without him. Regardless of whether he’s around, you should feel comfortable exploring your body and sexual desires.
It could mean he wants to introduce sex toys into your existing sexual dynamic and activities.
Some people believe that using sex toys is akin to cheating. That’s untrue because sex toys aren’t people with feelings, thoughts, and complex emotions. They’re tools designed for sexual pleasure and fulfillment — not much different from a massager or any other tool you may use to feel good. Since sex toys are tools used for sexual fulfillment, they can also be introduced into your couple. Even if you have excellent sexual dynamics and thoroughly enjoy each other’s bodies, introducing a sex toy can heighten the experience.
You can use sex toys to explore each other’s bodies in ways you couldn’t otherwise. You can use dildos and vibrators to stimulate your vagina, clitoris, or even anus. In fact, if your husband is comfortable with anal penetration, you can also use the vibrator or dildo to stimulate their prostate or offer a prostate massage, which can help them achieve an extremely powerful orgasm, something that would otherwise not be possible. Perhaps you can even use the sex toy to milk your husband’s prostate. Take things to the next level!
It could mean he wants to forge a deeper connection.
Sex toys can also be tools that help you forge deeper interpersonal connections. The human body is a complex machine that can be stimulated in many different ways. You can explore each other’s bodies using hands, genitals, and other body parts. But when you add sex toys into the equation, you have new sensations to work with, such as vibrations, suction, and more. You can use the sex toy to explore your body and show your partner what you enjoy.
Meanwhile, your husband can also use the sex toy on himself, demonstrating how he likes to be teased and stimulated. You can then use those techniques on each other, seizing the opportunity to communicate with each other even better. If you’re open to the experience, sex toys can help you and your husband connect on an even deeper emotional plane. And since you actively communicate your desires, you can even forge a deeper sense of trust, which can eventually help your relationship thrive.
It could mean he wants you to achieve the most powerful clitoral orgasms possible.
The clitoris is a complex structure with one responsibility — delivering intense pleasure. In fact, the clitoris is the seam of pleasure in the female body, capable of delivering even more powerful orgasms than vaginal penetration. That’s why women often orgasm more consistently through clitoral stimulation via organs, sex toys, and masturbation rather than vaginal penetration alone. Perhaps your husband understands the importance of the clitoris in female pleasure, and they want you to feel satisfied in ways that he simply can’t.
Some sex toys, known as clit suckers, are designed for clitoral stimulation. Biird’s Namii is an excellent example because it’s a 2-in-1 clitoral stimulator that releases sonic pulses and vibrations that stimulate the entire clitoral structure — even the parts of the clitoris that remain under the surface. As such, clit suckers can stimulate you in ways your husband simply can’t. By offering you a clitoral stimulator, perhaps your husband wants you to achieve the best orgasms that your body can offer.
Still uncertain about what it means? Just ask!
We have offered numerous possible theories for why your husband may have gifted you a sex toy. But that’s all they are — theories. We don’t know your husband's intentions, beliefs, or goals. The only way you’ll truly know what your husband wants and means by his gift is if you ask him. Active communication is essential for all healthy relationships. You must ask him why he gifted you a sex toy — perhaps the answer might take you by surprise!