Even in our sexually enlightened age, individuals often feel strange about using sex toys within their relationships. The hesitation in using a sex toy also applies to otherwise enlightened and sexually open people. But you should interrogate that feeling.
Using a sex toy within your relationship doesn’t mean you’re not enough for each other. Nor does it mean you’re not sexually fulfilled. Introducing a sex toy can be an excellent way to add new dimensions to your sexual activities, understand each other’s bodies even better, and add variety! A sex toy isn’t a replacement or a competitor to your affection — it’s a tool you can collectively or individually use to enhance your sex life.
Whether your partner identifies as a man, woman, or gender non-conforming, they can certainly benefit from a sex toy — everyone can benefit from a sex toy. This article describes 5 reasons to buy your partner a sex toy.
#1. Sex toys feel good and empower your partner
Perhaps you're afraid that a sex toy might replace you in some form. If so, you’re not alone in that fear. Conversations around sexuality have been centered on exclusivity for too long. Even in our sexually enlightened times, individuals in couples often believe they should be their partner’s only source of pleasure. But we must wrest that notion of exclusivity away from the realm of sexuality. Love is selfless, and so is pleasure.
In addition to simply making your partner feel good, gifting a sex toy is a selfless act. When you have sex with your partner, your sexual desires are naturally just as important as your partner’s experience. But when you gift a sex toy to your partner, you’re communicating that you want them to be able to pleasure themselves with or without you… and that’s selfless!
#2. Sex toys can bring you and your partner closer
Perhaps your’e afraid that a sex toy might replace you in some form. If so, you’re not alone in that fear. Conversations around sexuality have been centered on exclusivity for too long. Even in our sexually enlightened times, individuals in couples often believe they should be their partner’s only source of pleasure. But we must wrest that notion of exclusivity away from the realm of sexuality. Love is selfless, and so is pleasure.
Empowering your partner to take care of their pleasure doesn’t mean you stop having value. If anything, buying a dildo or vibrator for your partner shows that you care about their pleasure and can bring you closer together. Furthermore, using sex toys together can allow you to tap into deeper sexual experiences, introduce new dynamics to your sexual experiences, and bond even more. Instead of viewing sex toys as replacements, view them as tools to enhance your collective experiences and relationships.
#3. Sex toys can help with your sex lives
Sex toys allow you to explore your sexuality and sexual desires without judgment, shame, or other concerns. Your partner can use sex toys during solo masturbation sessions to better understand their body. They can explore their erogenous zones, learn about the sensations that make them orgasm, and explore all the untapped pleasures within their bodies. After all, masturbation is one of the best ways to discover your sexual desires.
People who understand their sexuality also feel more confident in their sexuality. If your partner knows what they want from sex, they can also guide you to tend to their needs better. And you can also use sex toys to better understand your desires and then communicate those desires with your partner. Seen in that way, sex toys can even be facilitators for communicating sexual desires, allowing you and your partner to engage in more fulfilling sex.
#4. Sex toys may offer more reliable orgasms
When it comes to heterosexual couples, studies have revealed an orgasm gap between the sexes. Male individuals usually report significantly higher rates of orgasm than female individuals. The orgasm gap can be attributed to numerous factors — physiological, emotional, relational, and social. Traditionally, society has placed greater primacy on male desire and sexual autonomy than on female pleasure. That often drives women to focus more on their male partner’s pleasure than their own, leading to an orgasm gap.
Furthermore, the orgasm gap can also be attributed to physiology. Males can achieve fairly reliable orgasms through penetration alone. But women often need clitoral stimulation for orgasms, which can’t be done through penetration alone. The clitoris is the small tip located at the top of the vagina, and it’s the seat of female pleasure. Women often say they can achieve more reliable orgasms through masturbation than penetrative sex.
Clitoral suckers, such as Namii, deliver sonic pulses and vibrations to stimulate the entire clitoris, not just the clitoral tip. The sensation is similar to really good oral sex but only deeper. Besides clitoral suckers, you can also gift your partner vibrators, dildos, or lubricants — the options are endless. If you gift a clitoral stimulator or clit sucker to your female partner, you show that their orgasms are just as important as yours.
#5. Sex toys keep you connected across distances
Sex toys are the ideal solution for couples in long-term relationships. You don’t have to be sexually deprived just because you’re physically far from each other. In addition to engaging in sexual sessions over video calls, you can also whip out your sex toys to heighten the experience. Some sex toys also contain controls that allow you to control each other’s sensations and orgasms, making the experience even more engaging.
There’s no dearth of reasons to gift sex toys to your partner. Sex toys can improve your relationships, communications, personal sexual experience, and overall quality of life. If you’re wondering how to introduce a sex toy into your couple, just remember that communication is key. Even if you’re feeling awkward or uncomfortable, start the conversation, explain your point of view, and pave the way for a more open and sexually fulfilled relationship.