Have you and your partner considered the world of blindfolds and sensory deprivation? Try the following tips to guide you on your journey or up your kink game.
Most of us have heard that when one of our senses is deprived, the others become heightened. What better place to apply that rule than our sex lives? Indeed couples that open themselves to the experience of having sex while one, or both, partners are blindfolded are expressing their sense of adventure, eroticism, and ultimately trust in one another, and in turn, building a deeper sense of connection.
10 essential tips for blindfolded sex
#1. Prepare your space(s)
As always, safety first. Make sure you have all your play spots clearly thought out, and cleared of any possible trip hazards, etc. Next, dim the lights a bit. Dimming the lights can set the mood for the intimacy you are about to share and prepares the room for when you are done so that you do not hurt your partner’s eye when you remove the blindfold later. Lastly, think out and gather lubricants, protections, toys, and other items to tease and please so that they are handy.
#2. Blindfold your partner
Once you have discussed your boundaries and limitations and mutually decided on any possible safe word (mine is Pineapple!), you choose to indicate to stop, discomfort, etc.; only then, pick up your blindfold(s). Whether your blindfold is a simple bandana, a roll of surgical gauze, satin, silk, or leather, tease your partner and use it to build arousal. When you are ready to tie it on, just remember to make sure it’s snug…and remind them what the penalties are for peaking!
#3. Touch Arousal
Blindfold on, begin by relaxing your partner and ensuring them they are in good hands. Use your touch - hands, feet, nose, tongue - and your breath to tease and excite your partner. Remember, they cannot see where you are coming from, so you have the power to surprise them with how, where, and when you touch them.
#4. Change locations
Take them by the hand, pick them up, or otherwise wheel them somewhere else. You are in control here, and they are submitting to your rules. Maybe you lead them around? Maybe you guide them with your voice? This can be a fun way too of leaving the bedroom to play in other parts of your home.
Whether you picked them up and laid them across the kitchen table or brought a basket of goodies to your bedside, playing with taste can be a fun and erotic way to excite your blindfolded mate. Well-washed fruits and vegetables offer so many ways to tease and please, as do whipped cream, chocolate, and honey. Slowly dripping honey onto nipples for your pleasure (and theirs) or dipping or slicking chocolate onto parts of you for them to “clean up” can be an arousing and delicious way to excite your partner and bring food-play into your life.
#6. Hot and Cold
Another great item from the kitchen…ICE! Running an ice cube up your partner's inner thigh, perking their nipples, dripping cold droplets on their genitals…from teasing to light torture, this form of arousal can be very rewarding for both blindfolded and blindfoldee! And don’t stop with the cold! Cold nipples need warming, and whether that comes from the heat of your mouth or warm wax, experiment with items you have at home to titillate your mate.
#7. Mystery Objects and Toys
Back scratchers, kitchen tongs, dildos, leather belts, feather dusters, clit suckers, hot stones, clothes pins, silk cord, butt plugs, loofas, paddles, vibrators, strings of pearls, sounding rods…even a cold remote control can all be exciting, “torturous,” ways of playing with and exciting your partner. Best yet, getting creative allows you to change the game and surprise them with new sensations. One new sensation might be Namii, Biird’s new 2-in-1 clitoral stimulator made from ultra-soft silicone; and since it can be used hands-free, you can use yourself and your bag of goodies to please other parts of her at the same time!
Scents can be powerful. You can make a game of making them guess what fragrances you find, from essential oils and spices to your favorite cologne or even musky items of clothing! Scents can soothe, confuse, and excite!
Another powerful tool, sound! Most of us take it for granted, but when we suddenly cannot see, we use our ears as we desperately search our surroundings for any signal of what’s to come! Rustling around in your goody bag, turning on a vibrator, the sound of you walking away…and most powerful, your voice telling them what you will do to them and how!
Also, with male partners, remember that men largely depend on visual stimulation and may require more cues through touch, scent, and sound. Never underestimate the power of suggestion.
One sense is gone; why not two? Try sliding the earbuds up their torso, teasing the nipples, eyebrows, and lips as they guess what they are. But remind them that bad guesses come with consequences! When they cannot guess, place them in your partner’s ears and start a playlist selected just for them… Erotica, Closer, WAP, you get the idea!
#10. Special Guest(s)
If you are in a relationship wherein you have and enjoy multiple sexual partners, this can be a fun time to “surprise” your mate with one of their favorite sex buddies or a new sexual partner you have selected, especially for this night. Imagine the shock and delight for your partner as they realize four hands are massaging them or that while you are between their thighs performing oral, someone else is suddenly kissing their neck…or more!
Set away enough time to thoroughly enjoy this experience. This is a fantasy. A seduction. A way of deepening your connection and experiencing a new depth of arousal. What fun!