Edging, also known as teasing, peaking, surfing, or orgasm control, is a common sexual practice wherein you stop yourself from orgasming when you’re on the edge of climax. You build up your momentum towards orgasm and then pull back just as you’re about to climax, and then repeat the process until you can’t help but orgasm. Some people engage in edging to extend the sexual experience and heighten the eventual release.
The practice of edging has recently gained significant traction in sexual health forums because it’s said to improve your sexual stamina and deliver better orgasms. However, while this method may have earned the contemporary name “edging” in the internet age, the practice itself dates back to the mid-20th century. The Journal of Sexual Medicine published a paper in 1956, introducing the “stop-start method” as a potential treatment for premature ejaculation.
That means you need to stop your orgasm just as you’re on the precipice of release, wait for 30 seconds, and then repeat the process again.
Practitioners of edging say that sexual stamina should be gradually built, much like the stamina you need to run a marathon. If you want to last longer in bed, you need to practice controlling your orgasms. That means you need to stop your orgasm just as you’re on the precipice of release, wait for 30 seconds, and then repeat the process again. You might only last for 2 to 3 rounds on the first try, but you can gradually improve your control.
Besides improving your sexual stamina, edging can also improve your sexual experience on an internal and emotional plane. This practice forces you to slow down and enjoy the sexual journey rather than racing towards an orgasm, similar to the practice of tantric sex or slow sex. Slowing down the experience forces you to be more cognizant of your body and its desires, explore your erogenous zones and introduce mindfulness into your sexual experiences with your partner.
This article explores edging, how you can start edging, and the benefits of edging.
The four stages of arousal include:
- Excitement: Your sexual journey starts with initial excitement or subjective sexual arousal, which generally leads to a physiological response. Your skin starts to flush, your heartbeat speeds up, and blood rushes into your genitals, leading to vaginal lubrication or an erection.
- Plateau: As you ride the waves of pleasure, the experience from the first stage increases. Your heart starts beating even faster, you flush even more, and more blood rushes into your genitals, bringing you to the cusp of an orgasm. This is when you must prepare to control your orgasm.
- Orgasm: If you don’t control your orgasm and pull back, you experience a series of muscular and physiological reactions. You may experience increased vaginal lubrication or the ejaculation of semen, i.e., the orgasm. When practicing edging, your goal is to delay this stage as long as possible.
- Resolution: After your climax, your body returns to its normal state pre-arousal. During this refractory period, your tissues return to their normal colors and sizes, and you can’t get aroused again. This stage lasts for different periods for different people, ranging from a few minutes to a few days.
Understanding the four stages of arousal helps you practice edging with greater mindfulness. Most people rush through all four stages of arousal within a few minutes, whereas tantric sex, edging, slow sex, and other such practices encourage you to remain in the first two stages of arousal — excitement and plateau. You can only do that through sheer will and control because it’s extremely difficult to pull back when you’re on the verge of an orgasm.
How to practice edging solo?
- Create a Positive Environment: Ensure your environment is welcoming, relaxing, and pleasant. You should ideally lock the doors, play some relaxing music, use essential oils, and turn down the lights. This will put you in the right frame of mind for edging, which is essential for a positive experience.
- Start Touching Yourself: Once your surroundings are suitable, you can close your eyes and start touching your genitals. While touching your genitals, you can also run your hands through different parts of your body to explore your erogenous zones. Do this until you experience physical arousal.
- Stimulate Your Genitals: Once you’re hard or wet, you can start stroking your penis or stimulating your clitoris. You can do this using your hands, or you can use clitoral and vaginal sex toys, such as clitoral suction toys and vibrators. That might heighten your experience.
- Slow Down and Control: When your heartbeat increases and you feel like you’re on the verge of an orgasm, take your hands away or slow down your movement. You can also open your eyes and take deep breaths. You will feel an urgent need to complete your orgasm, but you must practice restraint.
- Resume the Experience: Once you’ve returned to the second stage of arousal, take note of the changes in your body. Are you sweating? Is your heart slowing down again? Are you excited or tense? Note these sensations and repeat the previous steps again until you’re ready to orgasm.
- Complete Your Orgasm: After a few rounds, you might feel like you absolutely can’t hold back anymore. When that happens, ride the waves of sexual pleasure until you’re close to an orgasm and don’t hold back. Pay attention to how your body feels when you release, and then take note of how your orgasm feels — does it feel more intense after edging?
Edging isn’t an essential sexual practice, but it can help you with mindfulness during your sexual activities. If you’re struggling with premature ejaculation, for example, you can practice edging to build your sexual stamina and delay orgasms with a vibrator like Evii. Most importantly, edging forces you to recognize your body’s requirements and needs better, which can improve your sexual experiences in the future, allowing you to verbally demand what works for you.