Traditional conceptions of sex are incredibly narrow and boring, defining sex purely in penetrative terms. However, non-penetrative sex (also known as “outerplay”) can be just as pleasurable and mind-blowing and satisfying as intercourse, and sometimes even more so. Whether you don’t like the idea of intercourse or simply want to expand your sexual toolkit, you should definitely explore outerplay ideas.
It’s worth mentioning that penetration is just one of the many tools available for sexual pleasure. And it’s not even the most essential or effective tool when it comes to reaching orgasms. This is especially true for vulva-owners, who are far more likely to achieve an orgasm through masturbation or other forms of non-penetrative sex, such as oral clitoral stimulation and using sex toys for stimulation.
Non-penetrative sex acts have long been categorized as forms of foreplay, but they can also take the main stage, allowing you to achieve even stronger orgasms. It’s also worth highlighting that orgasms aren’t essential for a fulfilling sexual experience — you can also engage in slow sex wherein you delay or completely avoid a climax. All forms of sexual experiences are completely valid, and non-penetrative sex helps you better understand your desires.
This article provides a few essential tips to help you enjoy non-penetrative sex.
In vulva-owners, the clitoris is the organ specifically designed for pleasure — it serves no purpose other than offering pleasure. The clitoris contains thousands of tender nerve endings that can deliver breathtaking orgasms, when stimulated correctly. One of the major reasons for the orgasm gender gap is that cisgender female individuals in straight relationships often rely heavily on vaginal penetration, which doesn’t stimulate the clitoris.
Non-penetrative clitoral stimulation allows you to stimulate the entire clitoris, thereby unlocking even more powerful orgasms. You can use your fingers to explore the clitoris, or engage in oral sex with your partner. If you’re going solo, you can also use clitoral sex toys and suction vibrators to stimulate the entire clitoral structure, not just the tiny bulb visible at the top. Clitoral suction vibrators deliver sonic pulses to vibrate the clitoris and deliver powerful orgasms. You can also use a more traditional clitoral vibrator like Evii during your play to make things spicier for both partners.
You can define sex however you want — it should be an authentic representation of your experience and desires. You don’t even have to touch your partner, or be touched by your partner, to engage in intensely pleasurable sex. Masturbating with your partner, either solo or mutually, can be exciting and lovely. You can both face each other and masturbate looking at each other. Demonstrating your arousal to your partner can be gratifying, and denying access to your body can also be a source of sexual excitement.
Besides being sexually gratifying, mutual masturbation also serves an edifying purpose. It allows you to demonstrate how you like being touched and aroused to your partner. And it allows you to better understand how your partner likes being touched, No one can understand your body better than you do, especially if you engage in frequent masturbation and self-exploration. As such, mutual masturbation can help you and your partner better understand each other’s desires, which can improve all of your other sexual experiences.
Oral sex is one of the most popular non-penetrative sexual acts, and for good reason! When performed correctly, and with patience, oral sex can be one of the most exciting sexual acts available. It doesn’t have to be foreplay — it can be the primary sexual event. Oral sex is particularly great for vulva-owners because the tongue can stimulate the clitoris better than vaginal penetration with a penis.
The mouth is warm, soft, and wet, making it the perfect host for genitals or other erogenous zones. It’s an incredibly hospitable environment to enjoy sex and orgasms, especially for vulva-owners. When engaging in oral sex, ask your partner to try different tongue motions and techniques until you find the ideal position and technique. Experimenting with different techniques is essential to improve your skills.
Frottage sex is a non-penetrative sexual act that involves rubbing different erogenous zones together. The human body contains numerous erogenous zones, i.e., sensitive points in the body with a high concentrative of tender nerve endings. Stimulating, touching, or rubbing the erogenous zones can be incredibly pleasurable, that’s why you should always explore your body while engaging in masturbation or sex. Some of the most common erogenous zones include the underarms, nipples, anus, thighs, and feet — but you need to discover your zones for yourself.
Frottage sex involves rubbing your erogenous zones together. You can try different permutations and combinations, rubbing different parts of your body against different parts of your partner’s body. You can try rubbing the vulva against your partner’s vulva, nipples, penis, or even butt. The goal is to try different techniques and positions. It might look and feel awkward, but it can deliver intense orgasms. Furthermore, frottage sex forces you to better understand your body and its pleasure points, which can improve all other sexual experiences.
As a sexual act, dry humping never receives the credit it deserves because it’s unfairly associated with heavy petting in teenage years. That makes most people think of it as a juvenile act. But dry humping can also be practiced by sexually active adults, and it can deliver incredibly orgasms. You can try dry humping while wearing extremely light, silky fabrics that minimize the barrier to your genitals The act of rubbing your genitals against your partner, without penetration, through a layer of fabric can be incredibly powerful.
Dry humping is effective because the layer of fabric generates heat and friction with your genitals, thereby offering greater stimulation. You can also use lubricants while engaging in dry humping to increase the sexual sensitivity and heighten your experience. Furthermore, dry humping doesn’t have to be foreplay — it can also be your primary sexual activity. If you haven’t tried dry humping since your teenage years, we highly recommend giving it a shot now.